Esquire Magazine has declared Halle Berry the sexiest woman alive. The 42 year-old Oscar winning actress is featured on the cover of the latest issue in a pose that recreates an iconic former Esquire cover of President Bill Clinton - but sexy. Inside she’s featured wearing tanks tops with ironed-on scenes from other well known Esquire covers over a black lingerie tank and a pair of underwear. That’s sexy enough, but what’s even hotter is her written narrative about sex and taking responsibility for her own sexual fulfillment.

Before you read this and think she’s bragging, she damn near thanks just about everyone who helps her look good, including her makeup artist, trainer, stylist, hair dresser, and the photographer who gets the lighting just right. She also admits that there are “billions” of other women in the world and that we all have our sexy moments. Rolling with it, she describes sexiness and sex in a way that’s not too descriptive but still incredibly erotic. I started getting turned on just reading this:

Sexiness is also about knowing what’s sexy to you. To me, spaghetti is sexy, especially when it’s served off the tips of a man’s fingers. I like that. And I think wine is sexy, just before sex. It relaxes me. But if I want to get a serious groove on — if I want an out-of-body experience — I’m all about the sloe-gin fizz.

I think lingerie is sexy, and I’ll wear it, sure. But truth is, I’m good-to-go in a tank top and bare feet — although every woman should own at least one good pair of pumps. That’s really the only wardrobe you need for sex: a tank top and pumps.

When it comes to what I think is sexy about men, I like forearms. That’s my body part. They’re generally exposed, available, a little bit vulnerable. A forearm is different with every man, and when it comes to forearms, size matters. I don’t like them slight.

Ask me what’s the sexiest car in the world and I’ll just say my man’s car, because it smells like him, because his shape is pressed into the seat, because it’s littered with little bits of his life — his golf balls or his chocolate-bar wrappers — and it’s ripe with the smells of him. That’s the car I most want to ride in.

What else? Ah, yes: the big O. You know that stuff they say about a woman being responsible for her own orgasms? That’s all true. And in my case, that makes me responsible for pretty damned good orgasms these days. Much better orgasms than when I was twenty-two. And I wouldn’t let a man control that. Not anymore. Now I’d invite him to participate. I’ll tell you this: I’ve learned my tricks. I know what I like. I do not wait around. I initiate. And I’m not all about frequency. I favor intensity.

There have been some men in my life who have been wickedly sexy and have taught me much about sexual pleasure. There are a few men I should thank, and others I need to forget. But I don’t regret. To hell with regret. I like what I am now. I like being a mother. I like my body better since I became a mother. I feel sexier as a result of becoming a mother.

You see, the years go by and you learn, and that just deepens your understanding of every experience. And then sex is better — it feels like you’re in control, and you’re sort of not in control at the same time, and that is completely satisfying.

So, yes, there are times when I feel like the sexiest woman alive, but would I ever argue that I am the sexiest woman alive? Of course not. I figure at one moment the sexiest woman alive is a waitress in Abilene, Texas. And in the very next second, it’s a woman in the bush of Vanuatu. Then, right away, somewhere else. Sex and sexiness. It’s all about the moment; it’s about what you know as much as it is what you offer. That’s why I share this title with every woman, because every woman is a nominee for it at any moment. Maybe that’s why there are so many women these guys love.

[From Esquire]

Excuse me while I try to close my mouth and stop staring into the distance after reading that. Of course Berry had editorial help with this, just as she has help looking amazing day after day. It’s still her, though, and she’s still fabulous. Now that I’ve read this I’ll be looking at Berry in a different light - and trying not to blush as scenes of her with Gabriel flash through my mind. That’s too much sexiness to compute.