Last week, there was some major controversy about Jessica Alba’s husband Cash Warren and his reported maybe-probably make-out/hook-up with a certain crackhead named Lindsay Lohan. At first, Us Weekly just left the report to their print edition, but last Friday, they put the story online, and it’s created quite a buzz. At the same the time Us Weekly outed Cash as someone who might stick his tongue down Lindsay’s throat, People reported a breezy denial, coming straight (in my opinion) from Alba’s publicist. Still, the damage was done, and now many people think Cash is a skank - by association, at the very least.

Also note this - even though Lindsay issued some cracked-out denial when the initial reports began, as soon as Lindsay got to India, she tweeted Cash with a note that read “landed!” Because Lindsay loves the drama, regardless of whether she and Cash actually have something going on.

Anyway, Star Magazine has this hilarious story about Jessica Alba being so distraught over Cash, she’s run to the arms of… Mario Lopez!

The Lindsay Lohan rumors could push Jessica Alba and Cash Warren apart, Star has learned. A friend of Jessica’s tells Star: “Jessica isn’t happy. She threatened to kick Cash to the curb after she heard about the Lohan incident. She was livid!”

Jessica and Cash were “pretty miserable” when they picked out their Christmas tree. “Cash is in the doghouse, but Jessica is going through the motions, pretending to be a happy family for the holidays.”

Jessica’s relationship with Cash has been troubled for a while, sources note, ever since he cheated on her with a blonde named Vera Mishina a year before their May 2008 wedding. But now they seem to be on the brink of breakup.

“Jessica called up a close pal and confessed, ‘We’re not sleeping in the same bed.’ She’s been saying for quite some time that she and Cash are having major problems. It doesn’t look good.”

Apparently, Jessica has started hitting the town like a single gal - and she has a huge crush on Mario Lopez! “She’s gone from being a homebody to someone who always wants to go clubbing… she’s been drinking and hanging with the girls a lot lately.”

A pal reveals: “Jessica said she thinks Mario is a great guy and so easy to talk to… she said he’s given her good advice on some of the issues she’s dealing with in her marriage. I’m not sure how they met or how long they’ve been friends, but let’s just say she definitely finds him sexy.”

But, despite her partying, Jessica hopes she and Cash can work out. “She believes he can turn it around and become a doting husband and dad… but people who know him think he’ll never change. Either she accepts it, or these two are headed for Splitsville.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 21, 2009]

God, she has the worst taste in men. That’s her biggest problem. Remember when every guy was lusting after her, circa 2006? She was the hottest thing going despite her angst misery. Yeah… she really could have traded up, in more ways than one. What exactly does Cash have going for him? He’s not cute, he’s not successful, he’s not rich, he’s not nice, he’s not a good husband. I don’t get it. And for all of those people who are like “Cash has his own career!” No, he doesn’t. His career is being married to Jessica Alba. He’s described as a “producer” but the only project he’s got going is this cover story project with Lindsay Lohan. Which I don’t even buy. So, in that sense, Mario Lopez would be trading up. At least Mario has a job, you know?

Jessica Alba in LA on December 10, 2009 in LA. Credit: Fame.