Jennifer Lopez explains that she wore her critically panned sparkly catsuit to keep warm on New Year's Eve, Jessica Simpson lands in NYC, and Neil Patrick Harris gives hints on what's to come on How I Met Your Mother.

Kate Gosselin responds to Jon's claim that she is an absentee mother. Cory Monteith delivers a sneak peek of the new Glee episode and reminds us about Buzz's big contest. Britney Spears lets loose at a party in Palm Springs and more!

Carrie Fisher has been promoting her one-woman Broadway show Wishful Drinking all over the place. I was just reading about her last night in the November Vanity Fair, and here she in the NYDN talking about her show again. It’s based on her bestselling book of the same name, and it looks like a buffet for gossips. The show is seems like a campy tell-all about Carrie’s life as the daughter of two Hollywood stars (Eddie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds) and about her life as a movie star, writer, addict, wife, mother and girl-about-town. Carrie’s had a pretty cool, interesting life - she was Princess Leia, she married and divorced Paul Simon, and she had a daughter with a gay man (agent Bryan Lourd). Inevitably, though, the conversation comes back to her parents and what happened when they divorced.

For those unfamiliar with the original Hollywood Bermuda Triangle, it involved Carrie’s parents and a dame by the name of Elizabeth Taylor. After Taylor’s husband Mike Todd died tragically in a plane crash, Todd’s best friend Eddie Fisher began consoling Elizabeth. Soon, Eddie and Debbie’s marriage was in shambles, and Eddie left Debbie for Elizabeth. Within a few years, though, Elizabeth left Eddie for Richard Burton, so it’s all good. Though Debbie and Elizabeth’s friendship imploded at the time, they later reconnected and became friendly again. Debbie even went on record with the idea that Aniston and Jolie could be friends one day, bless her heart. Carrie relates the original Bermuda Triangle to the current one (Brangelina-Jennifer Aniston) in her show:

Carrie Fisher airs some serious dirty laundry in her new one-woman show, “Wishful Drinking” - and it isn’t just her own.

The artist formerly known as Princess Leia even sifts through Brad Pitt’s hamper, suggesting that his public love triangle with Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie is the modern-day equivalent of her dad, Eddie Fisher, leaving mom Debbie Reynolds for raven-haired temptress Elizabeth Taylor.

But Fisher was careful not to talk trash behind Pitt’s muscled back - she ran the barb by him first. “This is exactly what your situation is like!” she told the hunky actor, who gave his okay to the line. Aniston, who caught the show in previews, didn’t seem to mind, either. “She’s a very nice girl. I didn’t speak to her, but I heard that she liked it,” Fisher told us. “At least, I hope she liked it.”

And although Fisher escaped the ire of Hollywood’s former power couple, other celebs may not take her sideswipes with such good humor. Fisher even gets in a dig at her own mother, although that’s fairly normal, given their notoriously tumultuous relationship.

“My mother is a movie star,” she said onstage. “She’s like an icon. A gay icon, but you take your iconic statuary where you can get it. It’s like being a pseudointellectual is better than not being an intellectual at all.”

Fisher also slams George W. Bush, claiming she would rather have spent more time in a mental hospital for alcoholism than hang with the former Prez. “It’s sort of like the last time I was invited to Bush’s White House, only I met a better class of people in the mental hospital,” she deadpanned.

Despite the barbs, the actress insists she didn’t write the play to offend and was more than happy to remove anything potentially harmful. The proof: She axed anecdotes about ex-husband Paul Simon and “Shampoo” co-star Warren Beatty at their requests. “Anything that had to do with anyone else, I made sure that I went to them and cleared it with them,” she said.

But for a 90-minute autobiographical show, you must take jabs at yourself, and Fisher does. She calls herself a dead ringer for Elton John and says she turned her second husband, Bryan Lourd, gay. She adds, “Yes, I’m a bitch.”

Clearly her friends don’t agree: Jane Fonda, Salman Rushdie, Harvey Keitel and Patti LuPone all turned up to fete their verbose pal at Amalia in midtown after Sunday’s show.

[From the NY Daily News]

Eh, I like Carried because she doesn’t seem to give a f-ck, so I’m a little disappointed that she went out of her way to get people’s permission. Other than that, it sounds like a good show. I kind of like this movement of Hollywood women spending their 50s and 60s writing tell-all books or funny essays. The only thing I’ve ever read of Carrie’s was Postcards From the Edge, but I read a lot of Nora Ephron’s writing, and it sounds similar. Oh, and I’d love to know the dirt on Paul Simon!

Carrie Fisher is shown on 9/3/09. Credit: WENN.com

Tightly pulled actor Rupert Everett sat down for a long cozy interview with UK’s Daily Mirror for what seemed to be no other reason that talking some serious smack about bigger celebrities. He wasn’t really promoting anything - there was a relatively brief mention of his upcoming documentary, “The Scandalous Adventures of Lord Byron,” but that’s it. He was just there to share some nasty, catty thoughts, as per usual.

The main target of his tirade was Michael Jackson, who Everett once had a crush on, but clearly fell very much out of love with. But he also made sure to pick on Gwyneth Paltrow while praising Katie Price too.

It’s 7pm in a busy Italian restaurant just off New York’s Broadway and Rupert Everett is in full gossip mode. As the pre-theatre dining crowd crane to eavesdrop, he leans in and says in a slightly too-loud stage whisper: “I would have leapt at the chance of sleeping with Michael Jackson when I was 14.”

An elderly lady blushes beetroot red, and a waiter almost drops a plate of pasta. Everett takes a sip of his red wine, blissfully uns aware of the shock he has just caused… Not that Everett, whose own brief foray into the pop world included singing backing vocals on his mate Madonna’s version of American Pie, was any fan of Jackson’s.

“He was a freak,” says Everett, who at 50 is the same age Jacko was when he died. “He looked like a character from Shrek. He was a black to white minstrel. He was crucified by that court case when he was accused of child molestation - that killed him. He personified the pain and anxiety of a black man in a slave country. We all watched as he changed from black to white. He was living performance art. I think it was fortuitous that he died. He was supposed to be doing 50 concerts in London.

“It wouldn’t have mattered how good or bad he was. He wouldn’t have managed to do all of them and the press would have destroyed him.” Everett believes that Jacko’s death may even spell the end of modern-day celebrity itself. “You cannot divide the music from the person,” he says. “I think his life - and death - is a great lesson.

[From the Daily Mirror]

He later notes, “‘We have Michael Jackson, a black man who has gone white, and we have President Barack Obama, who is a half-white man gone black. It’s absolutely fascinating to watch.’” Rupert seems to lack the normal self-censoring gland most of us have. He seems to relish the shock factor more than anything. Everyone’s allowed their own opinion, and Michael Jackson certainly arouses a lot of them. But… damn. Those comments are best shared privately between close confidants, not tabloid journalists. Of course Everett knew saying stuff like that would get him a lot of attention, and that was probably the purpose. After all, he also took on Katie Price and Gwyneth Paltrow, saying he’d rather be stuck on a deserted island with Katie, because at least she’s real.

Ask him about other celebrities and he homes in on Katie a Price, the former glamour model Jordan whose marriage to Peter Andre crashed and burned on reality TV. “Jordan is one of those people who has integrity,” he says. “She is not dishonest about what she is doing. She should make hay while the sun shines.

“Her eldest son is severely disabled - she needs the money for the future. She is very beautiful and even the books that she may or may not have written have been a success. She has achieved more than a lot of other people.” And then, out of nowhere, he shows his manicured claws. “If I had the choice of being on a desert island with Jordan or Gwyneth Paltrow, I would choose Jordan,” he says.

“With Jordan you get the truth. She’s treated like a quasi-hooker, whereas Gwyneth is seen as the patron saint of good living. Which one has more integrity? I would much rather have Jordan any day.” Miaow. Saucer of milk to go with the plate of pasta for table two please.

He says he is still good pals with Gwyneth’s mate Madonna, although when asked if she has been to see him during his stint on Broadway he shakes his head.

[From the Daily Mirror]

Something tells me Madge won’t be attending any Rupert-related functions for quite a while. She and Gwyneth are super close, and I seriously doubt she’d put up with a more distant acquaintance talking smack about her joined-at-the-hip friend. In all fairness we’re not exactly big Gwyneth fans at Celebitchy, so I can’t really blame Rupert. But as far as I know Gwyneth and I don’t have any mutual social connections that I could be irreparably severing. I can kind of see his point about Katie Price if you wanted to look at her celebrity really superficially. If her sole motivation was making enough money to take care of her son Harvey, that would be fairly noble. It appears that fame and lots of drunken debauchery is also really important to her, so that sort of dims Rupert’s argument a bit. Nonetheless, if you made me choose between Gwyneth and Katie on a deserted island, I’d probably go with Katie. She could teach me how to apply false eyelashes and crush my boobs together. Gwyneth would just teach me how to make another vegan sandwich.

Thanks to Hollywood Rag for the lead [http://www.hollywoodrag.com/index.php?/weblog/comments2/rupert_everett_on_freak_mj_jordan_gwyneth_paltrow_and_his_face/].

Here’s Rupert Everett at the Princess Anne Theatre in London for the preview screening of his documentary for Channel 4, ‘The Scandalous Adventures of Lord Byron.’ Images thanks to WENN.com .

Bradley Cooper was one of the few lucky men in a sea of beautiful women last night at an art party and auction at the Whitney in NYC. Ali Larter showed off her long legs while Lindsay Price cozied up to her boyfriend Josh Radnor and gushed about their relationship. Bradley's still enjoying The Hangover's big box office success, and with a sequel already on the way he can keep the ladies laughing for at least another year.

WireImage and Splash News Online

Images include: Bradley Cooper, Ali Larter, Lake Bell, Alexis Bledel, Amber Tamblyn, Camilla Belle, Gretchen Mol, Lindsay Price, Selita Ebanks