Below is a very blurry video of Jennifer Aniston’s new “young man” coming and going from their date. Or should I call him “the whippersnapper”? Even though the video is blurry as hell, the guy looks really young. And not unlike Jersey Shore’s The Situation, right? He’s giving me Situation vibes. Anyway, she has a new boyfriend, allegedly, because she went on a date with this guy last night at the Sunset Towers. The eyewitness account of their date… well, I laughed. I laughed because the account played into every stereotype I have about Jennifer Aniston - that she tries too hard to be girlish and young, and that she can’t stop playing with her hair and touching her hair and getting people to look at her hair. HAIR. Here’s the video and the eyewitness account:

Forget speculation she is back with on-again, off-again flame John Mayer because Jennifer Aniston has a new ‘friend’ in her life, RadarOnline.com can exclusively reveal. The actress is set to ignite rumors that she has a new boyfriend after she had an intimate dinner on Wednesday night with a handsome new man.

The 41-year-old star was spotted enjoying drinks, dinner and dessert at the luxurious Sunset Tower Hotel in Hollywood. The pair sat at a corner table — much to the interest of onlookers — and later shared an ice-cream sundae in the exclusive restaurant, where they spent two-and-a-half hours together before leaving in separate cars.

Inside, Aniston looked relaxed in white jeans and a simple black tank top, while the man wore a white black shirt and dark pants.

“Jen was at a cozy corner table with a good looking younger man,” an eyewitness told RadarOnline.com. “She was twirling her hair a lot and flirting shamelessly.”

The witness said the duo got closer as the night progressed — with many lingering touches on the arm by Jen — and at one point Jen moved right next to him to flip through photos on his iPhone.

“Jen looked really good. She had on white jeans and a sexy black tank top,” the source said. When her mystery date left for the restroom, she took the opportunity to primp by reapplying her lipstick.”

The eyewitness told RadarOnline.com Jen looked “a little nervous, putting her hair up in a loose bun and laughing at everything he said.”

According to onlookers, Jen and her mystery man were so immersed in their conversation they hardly made a dent in their ice cream dessert.

And in true gentlemanly style, “the guy picked up the whole check” at the end of the night. While he took to the wheel in his Jeep four wheel drive and sped away from the waiting paparazzi, Aniston slipped out a back door under tight hotel security.

[From Radar]

Well, he didn’t pick her up and drive her home - they came and left in separate cars, if this video is of the same dude. Honestly, it sounds like a first date, right? This is not the eyewitness account of a couple on their fifth date, after they’ve already slept together but when they still want to impress each other. This is not only giving me Situation vibes (for real), but it’s also giving me blind date vibes. HAIR.

UPDATE: Radar says the dude is Harry Morton, who dated Lindsay Lohan a few years ago, before Lindsay went for Sam Ronson. He’s 29 years old. I swear, he’s dated other famous girls too, right? Didn’t he date… Paris Hilton?!? No, whoops, he dated Kimberly Stewart (ugh). Oh, and he dated Hayden Panettiere. Already I’m starting to think this guy sounds like a douche. Aniston should love him! She’s has the worst radar with men.

These are some scans from Jennifer Aniston’s “homage” to Barbra Streisand in the September issue of Harper’s Bazaar. I just thought we should use them because I don’t think we have before. Anyway, last week, John Mayer slammed the Huffington Post after HuffPo repeated an E! News story about Mayer and Jennifer Aniston getting back together. I didn’t really think Mayer answered the central question - “Are you back with Aniston?” Instead, he deflected, masturbating a bunch of nonsense about HuffPo having a “C-Span scar”. Anyway, most sites reported it as “Mayer slams reports of Aniston reunion.” Which led some to conclude “Not even a racist, misogynistic douchebomb wants to touch Aniston’s vadge.” Which led to this hilarious piece, courtesy of one of Aniston’s unnamed friends:

Jennifer Aniston thought John Mayer was a “dud” in bed. Rumors were flying this week that Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer were getting back together this week. However, according to a friend of Jennifer that is not happening cause John is a “dud” at doing the nasty.

The friend said that they were not compatable at all and that John was a basket case.

Apparently Jennifer has found a new victim to make her dreams come true - she is dating a European banker.

“For the first time in years Jen is getting the love she deserves and she’s been spending quite a bit of time in the bedroom trying to get pregnant. Mayer was terrible in bed, they were not compatible at all. John is a basket case. I think he might be in the closet. Jen gets on famously with her new man. It took her years to get over Brad Pitt and her anger toward Angelina Jolie. Everyone gets what they deserve in the end. Jen is happier than ever now while Brad and Angelina appear to be miserable.”

[From Celebrity Dirty Laundry]

I was all prepared to cosign Aniston’s “friend” with all of the talk about Mayer being a crappy lover, a basket case and a closet case, but then they had to go an ruin my fantasy with all of the “Aniston is trying to get pregnant” and “Brad and Angelina are miserable” talk. Because I don’t believe either of those items, and I so badly want to believe the stuff about Mayer.

In other Aniston news, you know how everyone made a big deal about how she plays a character who - gasp - masturbates in her film Horrible Bosses? Well, she’s apparently going to be dialing up the nudity again in the film Wanderlust, which she’s signed on to do with Paul Rudd. The plot sounds… ugh:

In the film, which begins shooting this fall, Jen and Paul Rudd play Linda and George, a happily married couple who can no longer afford to live in Manhattan when George loses his job. En route to live with his brother in Atlanta, the pair stop overnight at an inn – which really happens to be a commune – and decide to live their lives as freeloading hippies for awhile.

What does that entail? Prepare yourself: you’ve definitely never seen Jennifer Aniston like THIS before. For starters, the 41-year-old actress goes topless! Yup, that’s right – while protesting a new Wal-mart, Jen rips off her shirt to stop a slew of bulldozers!

[Linda RUNS into the one already shoveled hole, RIPS OFF HER SHIRT, and stands TOPLESS in front of the bulldozer, reads the script].

Secondly, she takes the term ‘free love’ VERY literally. Not only does she sleep with every other guy on the commune, but she has a threesome with two WOMEN, one of whom happens to be pregnant! Not only that, but she also smokes weed on the regular AND - like her character Kassie Larson in the The Switch - has a baby, but there’s a twist. She may or may not know who the daddy is by movie’s end…

[From Hollywood Life]

That sounds like… a weird movie. Um… well, at least she’s going to try something different? Sure. I’ll go with that.

Harper’s Bazaar scans, courtesy of CelebsGossip.

Britney Spears breaks out a bikini in Hawaii, Ryan Phillippe spends a night out with a carload of women, and Zoe Saldana strips down to lingerie for a new Calvin Klein campaign. Watch the weekend edition of PopSugar Rush!

At some point around lunch time on Thursday, The Huffington Post put up a little story in their Entertainment section called “John Mayer & Jennifer Aniston BACK TOGETHER?” It stayed at the top of the Entertainment page for about an hour, and then made the slow descent to the “old news” part, lower on the page. I’ll admit, I clicked on the story just to see if there was some new dirt. There wasn’t. The HuffPo piece was based on this E! News report from last week - basically, that Aniston was backstage, in the wings, at Mayer’s concert, and he kept looking over at her and flirting with her as he performed.

All in all, a pretty innocuous little piece, made worse by the fact that it was actually old news (old news in the gossip world). However, this was the biggest thing to happen to John Mayer in months. And Mayer’s Famewhore Douche had to come out to play. BIG TIME. Mayer responded to HuffPo’s article a few hours later:

Ahh, Huffington Post, the internet Death Star. The world’s first spectator banking website. Come watch a site’s intelligence move in and out like bellows of accordion depending on whether or not there’s ad dollars to be sucked out of any willing orifice.

From their front page item “BACK TOGETHER?”:

Are John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston back on? Mayer seemed to indicate they might be when he spoke in front of a crowd of 18,000 at his concert on Sunday at the Hollywood Bowl in LA.

“I believe in second chances!” he said. “You might have been a pain in the ass the last time around, but you can still start over again from home base. Next time you get a text from the one you love just text back ‘come over’ - no matter what happened in the past. If you really love someone, just tell them and be with them.”

Huffington Post, this is reporting? How do you pay your writers now, in Silly Bandz? Do you meet your sources in a malt shoppe? This is equal parts fabricated, cobbled together and misleading. Let’s break it down: I don’t think I ever said “I believe in second chances!” but I can’t be 100 percent sure, as it’s possible I could have accidentally said something succinctly and to the point. The next sentence is from the song “Half of My Heart,” in reference to the idea that meeting new people allows for hiding old mistakes. (Well, for most people at least.) The sentence about texting comes from the show’s encore, “Edge of Desire,” in a moment of giving people permission not to beat themselves down for still wanting someone. Two sentences about different things at different points in a concert.

The reason I’m calling you out instead of all the other magazines that make stories up out of thin air is that In Touch and Star Magazine aren’t concurrently writing pieces about Pat Tillman or WikiLeaks. Those other rags know who they are, and even if they’re obnoxious, I’d rather have to live with them because they (and the rest of the world) know where they stand, which doesn’t make them one tenth as dangerous as you are. You’re a stripper wearing reading glasses. Or maybe you’re an insolvent law student willing to dance for a few extra dollars. Either way, it’s uncomfortable to watch you try to wrap yourself around a pole when you have that C-Span scar.

I’m not a politician. I have no celebrity endorsements. So it is with a clear conscience that I’m able to title your piece on this post, should you decide to try make a few more bucks for whatever body wash or slasher flick you’re hocking today.

JOHN MAYER SLAMS HUFFPO: ” GO F**K YOURSELF!”

[From John Mayer’s Tumblr]

Mayer’s back, bitches. Would you like some racist humor with your asinine rant, peeps? How about we get some talk about sexual napalm in the hizzy, sluts? BAM! C-Span scar!! Mayer just blew your mind, didn’t he? “You’re like a stripper wearing reading glasses”!!! BURN. No, seriously, burn this douchebag. With fire. The gist of Mayer’s hissy fit is that HuffPo shouldn’t have an Entertainment section because they report real news. I guess The New York Times shouldn’t have an Arts Section and the Washington Post shouldn’t have a Style section - you know, because people might get confused! “Oh my God, Cooter, on one page they got some dang gum news about war in Afghanerstand, and on the next page theys talkin’ ‘bout this Mayer fella! That’s so confuzzling!!!” I especially like his “burn” about ads too. Keep in mind that Mayer’s rant is posted on his website/Tumblr page, where he’s advertising dates for his next concerts with Keith Urban.

Oh, and he didn’t really deny that he’s slipping Aniston his KKK dong, did he?

Mayer performing on August 14, 2010 in Chicago. Aniston & Mayer at the 2009 Oscars. Credit: WENN.

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer's on-again, off-again relationship ended a year and a half ago, but new rumors suggest they might be rekindling a romance. John performed at the Hollywood Bowl in LA on Sunday, and while some fans reported seeing Jennifer watching from the wings, he said this cryptic message on stage:

"I believe in second chances! You might have been a pain in the ass the last time around, but you can still start over again from home base. Next time you get a text from the one you love just text back 'come over' - no matter what happened in the past. If you really love someone, just tell them and be with them."

This wouldn't be the first time they gave their love another go, so tell us - would you be surprised if Jennifer and John got back together?