This is a slightly older story, but Paper Magazine recently put some excerpts online from their cover interview with Kesha from last month. Kesha is a lovesick crackhead, as many know. And her interviews read like that too. In these excerpts, Kesha talks about her love of do-it-yourself tattoos (gross) and how transvestites are more beautiful than she is:

Who makes Ke$ha ‘want to be a better woman?’ What are her secrets for picking up dudes? Can she give you a homemade tattoo? Find out in these outtakes from Whitney Spaner’s feature on the ascending, Jack Daniels-loving pop star from PAPER’s summer music issue, on stands now.

On transvestites:
Freaks are what make everything mildly more interesting in life but with trannies, they make me want to be a better woman. I see these men who have way better bodies than I do, more beautiful faces, better complexions, beautiful makeup, and they’re more fun than any person I’ve met in my life. They make me feel like I’m not a very good woman.

On possibly going country:
I’m really inspired by country music — my mom wrote country music — and I love Dolly Parton and Johnny Cash. I think at some point there might be some country collaborations or records in the future. But I’m also really digging being called, like half jokingly, a white girl rapper. I think it’s really funny and I’m going to ride that train for a little bit.

On her love for DIY tattooing:
A friend of mine told me you can [create a tattoo] with pen ink and a safety pin and I was like ‘That’s amazing. I could give tattoos at anywhere in the world at any hotel.’ I saw this hot dude recently and I gave him a tattoo sitting in the lobby of the hotel. I was just like ‘Can I borrow a pen and a sewing kit?’ I think I got an admirer out of that one.

On being a ‘pervert:’
I wouldn’t say I’m aggressive, but I’m a pervert. I have a gold Trans Am and my favorite thing to do in the world is to drive around blasting Zeppelin or Sabbath, cat calling dudes. It doesn’t work, but it’s fun.

On her pick-up methods in bars:
I usually do something ridiculous like send him over a shot of whiskey and then spank him. Something like that.

On whether Jack Daniels is really her drink of choice:
I like whiskey and I like red wine — those are my two favorites. I love to lie around my house listening to vinyl records and drinking red wine. It’s amazing. But I’m never home, so…

[From Paper Magazine]

I know a lot of you hate her, but after I read her Rolling Stone interview, I just can’t. Yes, she’s not the brightest bulb, but she’s also not totally stupid. She’s rather gross and silly, but she’s funny too, and she has some good lines and she really doesn’t take herself too seriously. I appreciate the line, “I usually do something ridiculous like send him over a shot of whiskey and then spank him. Something like that.” I’m not saying she’s God’s gift to music or the most interesting celebrity in the world - I’m just saying she would be fun to hang out with in a bar.

Paper Mag photos courtesy of Paper online.

This is Ke$ha for the new issue of Paper Magazine. She looks drunk, per usual. Has anyone else noticed that she usually looks dirty too? I’m not a freckle-hater or anything, but is that it? Are Kesha’s freckles giving her that Lohan-esque unclean look? Anyway, I can’t find any excerpts from Kesha’s Paper interview but I did find some bits and pieces of press Kesha has been doing over the past week. This girl… I just don’t know. After I read the interview she did in Rolling Stone last month, I got to the point where I didn’t hate her anymore. True, she’s not awesome or anything, but she’s not a terrible person either. Eh. You decide from this array of quotes:

On her single ‘Your Love Is My Drug’: “It’s a song about how when you’re in love with someone, and you start acting like a total idiot psycho…You know, just like stalking. Chain calling. Calling from other numbers.” And when asked if she herself acts in that way, the 23-year-old ‘Tik Tok’ hit maker added: “Yeah… but not from my phone.”

Kesha on her young self: Ke$ha admits that she was a “math gee” and a “band nerd” at school.

On people who have wronged her: “You know what, sometimes I’ll walk my dogs and full bags of massive dog s**t. Then I’ll wrap them as Christmas presents and give them to people.”

She writes music to get back at people too: “The record is therapy. This b*tch stole my car, so I wrote a song about it called ‘Backstabber’. When I see thousands of people singing along to it I’m like, ‘Jeanie f**k you. You f**ked with the wrong b*tch.”

Kesha’s fashion sense: “If I’m in Los Angeles and I find a pile of clothes lying on the side of the street that someone plans to throw out, I’ll take it. I’m like a pirate on a treasure hunt. I think it’s way more creative. I love used clothes because they have a story to them.”

[From OMG Music & EarSucker]

Does the girl have rage issues? Not really. She strikes me as someone who is all talk, no action. These stories seem like an attempt to be cool or hardcore, when really she’s probably some totally normal girl who just spends her time getting wasted. Of course, I could be wrong. Maybe she is wrapping up dogsh-t and wearing clothes she finds on the street. Do you think she even washes those clothes? Ugh.

The MuchMusic Awards went down in Toronto last night, and many of Hollywood's hottest young stars made the trek Northward to hit the red carpet. Kellan Lutz broke from promoting Calvin Klein underwear to join his Eclipse costars Ashley Greene and Xavier Samuel. Ashley was casual when she took off from LAX on Thursday, but she was all decked out in sparkles to pose with her boys. Katy Perry showed some skin in a revealing dress, while her fiancé Russell Brand was across the ocean in England with Jonah Hill promoting Get Him to the Greek. Justin Bieber mingled with his friend Drake, and Nina Dobrev was the sole actor on hand from The Vampire Diaries.

Miley Cyrus was the show's host, and she even took the stage in her latest minuscule costume to sing "Can't Be Tamed" - what do you think of her look? Justin Bieber was a big winner at the ceremony in his home country, and he won three statues. Katy Perry was back in her candy ensemble to sing "California Gurls," and Kellan Lutz spent some quality time chilling backstage. Even the Jersey Shore crew was represented by Snooki and Pauly D - check out all the winners from Canada's big night!

To see more from the event, just read more.

Images include: Kristin Cavallari, Miley Cyrus, Whitney Port, Jessica Szohr, Katy Perry, Kellan Lutz, Jackson Rathbone, Ashley Greene, Nina Dobrev, Drake, Justin Bieber, Snooki, Pauly D, Kesha

You might already remember Ke$ha’s newest single, “Your Love Is My Drug”. She performed it on Saturday Night Live several weeks ago, and I’m sure if you did see it, it was seared upon your fragile mind. The SNL performance featured fake tribal gear, lasers and tragedy. It was epic in its failure. So what’s the actual video like for a song that actually has the lyric “Like a lovesick crackhead”? You can imagine.

The video starts out in the desert, and I was prepared for just random animal imagery, as The Drunk Child seems to prefer. She’s writhing around with a tiger head on at one point, I think. There’s an elephant too, which is weird, because the desert looks like Arizona or Death Valley, not Kenya. Then there some weird budget cartoon sh-t happening. Like, some Hannah-Barbera sh-t.

Oh, and then The Drunk Child goes back to the glow-in-the-dark paint, the stuff she used for her SNL performance. Oh, a snake! I’ve got to wonder who wrote the treatment for this video. My guess? A lovesick crackhead.

Here’s the SNL performance, just in case you missed it:

Ke$ha is interviewed in the new issue of Rolling Stone, and I’m beginning to revise my opinion of her after reading it. Sure, I still think she’s a Drunk Child, and sure, I still think she needs to go back to school or whatever and stop trying to pretend like she’s the most innovative artist ever. But… she does have a story, and an interesting point of view. Eh. I’m not saying I like her, just that I don’t hate her near as much.

The biggest story coming out of this interview is probably about Ke$ha’s parentage. According to her, she has no idea who her dad is, and she never had a clue: “’My mom was involved in astrology and wanted me to be a Pisces, and she went through the necessary ways of having a child. And she didn’t want a man telling her what and what not to do. I always kind of wondered - my mom talked about guys named Pat the Rat, or this guy Bob, or John. She just wanted a baby. It’s an interesting topic of conversation to other people more so than it is to myself. I don’t obsess about it. Maybe I’m in denial. Maybe I need a therapist. But I had a very complete childhood. I don’t feel like I missed out on anything.” Well… that’s an interesting story, it really is. It makes me… like her a little. Damn it!

Here’s more from the interview. I’m just going to do her quotes, so this is like the Jefferson Bible of Kesha:

“I’ve kissed girls before. But my preference is a wiener.”

“I’ve had a few drinks in my life - I think the cat’s out of the bag on that one.”

“I need to go on a walk every day, like a dog.”

“I’m pretty sure in my past life I was a dude, because I talk like a dude and act like a dude… my mom always taught me to be tough.”

“I like to go to the jungle at least once a year, get away from human beings and not use my people voice, just my animal voice. I know it sounds crazy, but I like connecting with the Earth on a real level.”

“[My mom] is the original badass.”

“I met [Ringo] at the Grammys, and he congratulated me on my album! I threw up in my mouth a little bit. I said, ‘Congratulations on being a f-ckin’ Beatle!’”

“I got a call from this guy saying, ‘Hey I think I’m your birth father.’ I said, ‘Mom is this legit?’ and she said, ‘Maybe.’ You know how I knew [he and I] weren’t related? You know those video game chairs like the guy has in 40 Year Old Virgin? He so had one of those. I was like, ‘There is no way that half my DNA is made up of a guy who has a video-game chair and plays in it all the time. [I didn’t get the DNA test], I operate on instinct.”

“My last boyfriend smashed my heart into a million billion pieces. I’ve had no father figure and I had finally trusted a man. If I were to get involved with another guy, he’d have to be pretty much be the Second Coming.”

[From Rolling Stone, print edition]

She’s kind of interesting, isn’t she? Not in the way she thinks she is, of course. She thinks she’s a genius, and the most hardcore thing around. She’s neither, but I do applaud her for not being the little pretty princess-gumdrop-accessible pop star. She’s not Britney, she’s not Avril, she’s not Gaga, but she might not be a flash in the pain either.

Finally, I know everyone has been trying to erase her horrible, laser-filled, fake Native American Saturday Night Live performance out of their heads, but Kesha did address us, the haters in the cheap seats: “I was happy with the way it turned out. F-ck cynicism. F-ck the cynics. They can say whatever they want, because I’ll be the one in the corner with my laser gloves having a dance party.” Well, that’s actually a pretty healthy attitude to have, Kesha. Bless your lasers.

Header and last photos - Kesha on February 16 & 22, 2010 in London. Credit: WENN.